 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You actually wore a blue ribbon to protest the Communications Decency Act
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You kiss you girlfriend's home page.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ Your eyeglasses have a web site burned into them.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap....and your kid in the overhead compartment.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3...
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ your night dreams are in HTML.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You turn your modem off and get this awful epmty feeling, like you just pulled the plug of your loved one.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au"
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ Your heart races faster and beats irredgularly each time you see a new WWW site address printed on the TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You step out of the room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have any idea when it happened.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You turn on the intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if e-mail arrives.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You wife drapes a blond wig over the monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ All of your friends have an @ in their names.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ Looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted purple.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ Your dog has its own webpage.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You've visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos. or [C]ontinue?
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You can't call your mother because she doesn't have a modem.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You believe nothing looks sexier than a man in boxer shorts illuminated by a 17" svga monitor.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You check your mail. It says "no new Messages." So you check it again.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You refer to your age as 3.x.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You have comandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ Your phonebill comes to the door in a box.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ Even though you died last week, you've managed to retain OPS on your favorite IRC Channel.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You code your homework in HTML and give your intsructor the URL.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You don't know what sex is over three of your closeset friends are, because they have nuetral nick names and you never bothered to ask.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You laugh at people with 2400 baud modems.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ Your husband tells you he's had the beard for two months
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You move into a new house and decide to netscape before you landscape.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You tell the cab driver you live at Http://123.elm.street/hose/bluetrim/html
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ Your virtual girlfriend finds a new sweetheart with a larger bandwidth.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ Your friends no longer send you e-mail...they just log on to your IRC channel.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You buy a Captain Kirk Chair with a built in keyboard and mouse.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer can not come to bed"
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You are so familiar with the WWW that you find search engines useless.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 4.5 or higher."
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You never have to deal with the busy signal when calling your ISP...because you never log off.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You put a pillow case over your laptop so your lover doesn't see it while youre pretending to catch your breath.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You ask a plumber how much it would cost you to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You forget what year it is.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You ask a doctor to implant a gig in your brain.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind ... the perfect soundtrack to "surfing the net"
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited"
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ You turn on your computer and turn off your wife.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
 $+ %c1 $+ You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When: $+  %c2 $+ As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
